YOUR MARKETING’S PROBABLY SHIT
WHO THE FUCK AM I?
Name’s Dan, founded and exited an agency called Offended, and worked with big brands like Ladbrokes, Coral, and KFC. But who gives a shit? What matters is what I can do for you. Most marketers and creatives think ‘good’ is doing a semi-witty tweet to an already existing audience. But that doesn’t help you if you’re a small business. I grow brands from scratch. Not many do, because, well … it’s fucking hard. So, if you’re a startup or SME, and can’t figure out how to be the first name at the forefront of your target audience’s mind, I’m your man. If you want to sound and look like everyone else, I’m not.
WHAT YOU CAN PAY ME FOR
99 Problems
Stuck figuring out something with your marketing, branding, positioning, or advertising? Need some fresh eyes? We’ll spend an hour discussing the problem at length, and then I’ll come back to you with a deck on how I’d solve it.
Start me up
New business and need help getting yourself out there? No idea how to stand out in a saturated market? I’ll lead your creative, helping to develop a strategy, and execute that strategy each month. 6-month minimum contract.
Fix up, look sharp
Established business but missing that creative spark? I’ll conduct a 1 month ‘investigation’ into your business, messaging, brand, marketing and advertising, and come back with a strategy on how to fix up, look sharp, and stand the fuck out.
The Man who sold the world
Need someone unconventional to lead your project’s creative direction? Sick of trying to hire creative directors with the creativity of a falafel wrap? I’ll lead the direction of your creative, working closely with your in-house team to ensure your project bangs.
Wanna chat about which approach is right for you?
WE ALL HAVE TO START SOMEWHERE
If you’re just starting out, don’t have a marketing budget, or aren’t at the stage where you know where you need help, I’ve written these that might be useful for you. Each playbook details simple methods and ideas that can help you make your first steps to building the right brand, audience, and customer base, along with examples of how I’ve used them myself.
TART UP YA START UP
Everything I know about growing a startup brand from the ground up. No bells, no whistles, just real, simple, cheap strategies to get your business out there.
£20
YOUR ADVERTS ARE SHIT
Don’t worry. Everyone’s adverts are shit. This is my take on creating ads that stop people in their tracks, cause car crashes, and get you noticed.
£20
STUNT 101
I wrote the manual on guerrila marketing for startups. I also wrote the manual on doing mad stuff without breaking the law (ish). Here’s how.
£20
